Here's To A New Chapter - Fruity Drink Style

Well the time has come for this 20-something ex so-and-so to move on to a different chapter in his life. For followers of my writing - yes, you and you - this is the new, and hopefully improved Scobes with the flair of the Left coast. Like Conan I'm taking my act West; for a girl, for me, for my future, for my kids.

I'd like to think the cynicism is now completely gone from my being, but my aura still stings of a life spent cheering for the Royals'. A curse that's been emotional, intellectual, but hopefully not any day soon, literal. And for the one's that like the snarky, snippy, old guy I used to be, I'm sure we can find a few things to be annoyed about:

So you're telling me the Royals' traded for a guy that was regarded as the worst everyday player in baseball, told us everyone was wrong and that a change of scenery would be the cure to what ails his crappy-ness, and he's proceeded to be EVEN WORSE than he was before? What's worse than the worst? We need a phrase, or a word, or some way of describing this awfulness. He's Hades? He's crap on a stick? He's Nicholas Cage?

Artificial echoing in musical acts is dumb.

Dwayne Bowe is running with the second team. Glenn Dorsey may or may not have two knees. Tyson Jackson just signed for $30M to "take on blocks." JaMarcus Russell is 300 pounds and hasn't learned that the guys wearing the other uniforms or the bad guys. Just goes to show you a bunch of athletes can run around and win games, doesn't mean they can play football. Oh, and Les Miles is a terrible coach.

And I think I just had to pay royalties cause I typed "football." You notice how broadcasters never referring to someone in the NFL - I'm sorry, the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE - as merely "players?" They're "football players." Just like: "football game" "football play" "football pass" "football run"

I'll pretend remorse if you're going to pay me $1.5M. Not a problem.

I like the little moments in between songs at concerts the lead singer somberly, and rasperly, speaks about where he was when he wrote the next song. It makes me feel like he's talking to me.

Do veneers on actors freak anyone else out?

Can golf etiquette include people over 60 not being allowed to tee off after 8 a.m.? I'm just saying. They're up at 4, this shouldn't be a problem. And they're out of the normal folks way by mid-morning.

Mexican people aren't nearly as annoying once you're around them a lot. I just pretend they're ducks, or birds, flocking around a park. You don't understand the sounds they're making, sometimes you try and mimick those sounds, and sometimes, they're cute.

Til' next time.